A Fish and a Spider
by Versix
Summary: Elise finds herself confronted to an unexpected challenge in the Female changing rooms. Said challenge involving a certain Marai and a sweater. And Fiora and Caitlyn. My take on Urf-The Nami-Tee and Elise's friendship -or something that might ressemble it-. Another Oneshot.


Clic clic clic.

Distant eyes turned to the door when the Spider Queen pushed it open, before returning to their task at hand.

Elise walked in gently, striding through the female champions' changing room. She returned light nods when they were given but otherwise remained silent, merely observing the unusual buzz that accompagnied the event. This day was not an ordinary one.

 _Oh no_ , she thought seating herself grimly against the far wall, using her lower spider legs to support her weight there in mid air.

This day was one of celebration and light heartedness, decided by the High Summoners. Said celebration having the Champions dress in alternate skins instead of their normal attire, for friendly matches only. Unconsciously, her spider legs twitched a bit, her hands resting on the instrument laid out in front of her. Having very few skins for herself -a very grave mistake, for she DESERVED many more than three- Elise had opted for her Blood Moon attire. White bangs replaced her headset in framing her delicate features. It was very much different, but she still looked as dashing as ever, so she figured that she could let it slide.

The event wasn't in honour of anything in particular and Mage frowned, seeing no point in wasting time with a random party.

It had been announced that it was to create bonds and memories between champions and summoners alike. Although the _no violence_ rule had been upheld -or just about respected- thus far, the Institute was not quite a place of peace, the tension still palpable between the opposing city-states. Even though Valoran was actually mostly pacifist, the different regions did not always share the same ideals, often leading to petty and unnecessary feuding.

Red eyes distractly glanced over to the Sinister Blade, one of the first trouble makers in the League. Aggressive, hot headed and not always friendly, she had a reputation of trying to draw blood too quickly.

Her crimson hair was also too showy to be ignored. As ever, a permanent scowl turned her face downwards, her efforts to not pounce on and skin the first person to comment on her outfit, very much visible. By popular request, furry white ears and a furry white tail peeped out from under a very skimpy outfit. Beside her, her sister Cassioepia was barely holding down a laugh. Said laugh exploding out loud when the kitty tail was all messed up. Katarina scowled and threw a dagger, the lamia barely side-stepping in time to avoid a deadly attack. She cackled on, adjusting her cow-boy hat, however making sure that she wasted no time in slithering out of the room, her sister still hot on her tail. -Literally-.

Elise rolled her eyes at the Du Couteau siblings, her gaze wondering lazily from one scene to another. In a corner, she saw the Marai remove her headset with regret and Caitlyn and Vi both adjusting their matching Officer outfits. The side look the pinkette gave to the Sheriff cocked an eyebrow. It was no secret that the Enforcer was into women but the glare that she recieved back from Caitlyn revealed that the relashionship was probably not as one sided as the Spider Queen first thought.

 _Interesting_.

Any piece of information was useful information. She was pulled out from her thoughts when the duo promptly exited the room, their loud bickering turning numerous heads. Figures. Piltover's Finest were reknowned for being unseperatable but they were also known for their never ending arguing.

As time passed on the Spider Queen remained very still. She had kept only very few hobbies over the years, but people watching was one that remained.

She continued her activity and watched her fellow Champions. Ashe adjusted the crown over her magically changed blue hair, Soraka helping her in the task, groaning when her hat fell in front of her eyes. The sheer amount of fruit atop it was ironic.

Leona regarded Diana wearily while adjusting her valkyrie outfit ; Sivir spun in front of the miror unsure of her _Fantastic Sivir_ skin ; Lissandra discretely grinning _and_ fixing her makeup in the corner, her _Queen's Blade_ skin adding an awkward eeriness to the scene ; Zyra gently petting one of her sprouted plants reassuring her about her Haunted appearance; Kayle adjusting the viser on her Riot helmet ; and Elise was sure that she had spotted a crimson dress before it had vanished.

The Spider Queen gently hummed to herself, secretly delighted about the activity in the room. Although she was occupied by matches on a daily bases and had to return to the Shadow Isles from time to time to check on her cult, the routine quickly got tiring and boring. A new distraction was always welcome to her.

An obnoxious laughter rolled her eyes, her ears picking up at a very strong accent. The Grand Duelist stepped out from behind the locker, ruler in hand. All the while talking, she was making broad movement with her arm, fencing against a pretend opponent.. She flipped her hair with a hand, most likely evoking her biggest victories to a very metal clad Lux and a bright lit Dj Sona. They, however, didn't seem to share mage's irritation as they followed her, listening intently. The door opened again and Caitlyn bumped into a still rowdy Fiora.

There was an awkward pause. Spider legs twitched and their owner perked up ; now, this was going to be an interesting scene.

It was common knowledge amongst the champions that the Sheriff of Piltover and the Grand Duelist regarded each other in a rather … Unfriendly way, although many would describe said relashionship as one rivals shared. The reason was quite unknown, both of the champions merely grumbling that they couldn't stand the other. No matter how much more would be asked, they would remain silent on the matter..

Elise however, doubted that the two champions knew themselves as to why they disliked the other so much.

Both standing up straight, they stared into equally beautiful blue eyes.

" Lady Laurent, " said the Sheriff flatly, announcing the Grand Duelest's name more as a statement, her own accent as pronounced as ever.

" _C'est Dame_ Laurent to you, _My dear_ , " sniffed the Rapier, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

The room turned suddenly very quiet, the iddle chatter comming to a halt. All eyes were on the two as each person in the room watched another Caitlyn – Fiora confrontation.

" Lady Laurent," repeated Caitlyn, ignoring Fiora completely. She gave no sign of being ticked off by the last remark, but knowing the uptight woman, Elise suspected that she bit down a sarcastic retort of her own, using the little diplomacy she had left for the Dueslist. At least one of the two was reasonable to some extent.

" To my regret I am rather in a hurry so I will excuse myself from this conversation I am sure would have been a delight. " And with that, the Sheriff moved to brush past the Rapier, when said woman side stepped, mirroring her. Blank expression still on face, Caitlyn moved to the other side, her steps once again being copied. This time, she sighed loudly as she looked up to the tall woman.

" Yes ? "

" I am not finished with _Toi_. " she smirked. " Apologize for bumping into the Great Duelist that is me and _peut-être_ I will consider forgiving you. "

" Fiora… " finally squeaked Lux. Worry etched upon her face, she quickly glanced at Caitlyn. " Maybe we should just leave it at that… " Sona agreed, playing a few notes on her instrument.

" No, no, she is right, " the Sheriff answered eventually, blue eyes dangerously narrowed.

" She is ? " asked the light mage surprised.

Caitlyn nodded, tipping her hat slightly.

" I am so sorry about bumping into Milady. Maybe next time I will get to properly knock some sense into that big head of yours. " she added.

The whole room braced themselves for what was going to come next.

" Why you … Are you mocking me ? " she fumed.

" You ? I would never… "

At that Fiora glared, her sword hand twitching slightly.

" And then again, I might. " she smirked.

" Filthy peasant ! " roared the Deamacian.

Name true to her reputation, she drew her sword -in this case a ruler- before anyone could stop her. Taking a swipe she barely missed her target as the Piltovian Officer had anticipated an attack of the sort, ducking underneath it. She then sidestepped, avoiding another strike, the measurement instrument slapping the ground with an astonishingly loud smack. Jumping to her feet again, Caitlyn glared to her opponent.

"Are you quite done yet? Tantrums are not part of my expertise."

"It's called un echauffement, _ma Chère_. _En Garde_!"

Ruler at the ready again. Fiora fell into stance, lunging to her opponent with great speed., Caitlyn grunted as she barely managed to block it off, rifle comming up just in time.

Not quite as solid as her sword, the strike wrung through Fiora's arm making her grit her teeth.

The two opponents seperated again, much to the spectators relief. Somewhere along the line, the Sheriff had lost her hat.

"Why don't we leave it at that? Truth and call it a tie."

Maybe if she would have noticed Fiora's eye twitch, she could have moved out the way. Maybe.

With an angry cry, the Duelist dropped the weapon and leaped at Caitlyn, catching her by surprise; they both went down, rifle slipping out of grasp, the Grand Duelist landing on top of her. However much the Sheriff was a veteran at stopping crime, Laurent had the upper hand in close combat and hand to hand fighting.

" _Tu souilles_ my honor," she snarled "There is no tie or truth in a Duel, _Shérif_."

"That was foul play, Demacian," coughed the Sheriff, her breath returning after having hit the floor hard.

"I always get the results I want," shrugged Fiora angrily " Call uncle as they say and I will let you go, without too much done to your pretty little _minois_. "

" Only if you call it first."

And this time, Elise decided that it was her turn to step in, wearing an extremely fowl expression. The Spider Queen disliked childish bickering and absolutely hated when a peaceful afternoon would go to waste, spoilt by mindless arguing. Sometimes, she simply forgot that most of the Champions were much younger than she, and hadn't lived through a lifetime yet.

 _Children_.

Oh well. Calm people watching had been nice while it had lasted.

With a wave of her hand, webbing shot out towards Fiora trapping the wrist that was about to come down on the Sheriff.

Surprise etched on both of their faces, all heads in the room turning to Elise. Hushed whispers were on the lips of every champion and Elise struggled to keep a neutral expression.

" Hi. " she said simply, rising up from her seat.

" Stay out of this, Shadow Isles. " spat the Demacian.

She raised an eyebrow at Fiora but said nothing, if tugging a little harder on the thread than she was going to. The Demacian yelped slightly, being pulled to her feet rather violently.

She glared and opened her mouth, then deciding against it. Instead, she turned to Caitlyn and spat on the floor next to her.

" Next time, _Shérif_ , " she uttered her warning before strutting out the door, brushing past Vi violently. Lux and Sona stared at each other before rushing out to follow her.

The Shadow Isle champion said nothing, merily stepping closer to Caitlyn staring down at the Sheriff. A moment of silence was probably her queue to say something.

" Are you unharmed ? "

" I think so… " she answered slowly, obviously perturbed. It was one thing for the Spider Queen to interveen in fights that were not her own, but it was another for her to show what looked like sympathy. Or something that ressembled it, her face still twisted in a nasty expression. " Thank you. "

Elise shrugged and waved it off with her hand, turning her attention to Vi that was eyeing her warily. Amused, her eyes narrowed appreciatively.

" Be at peace, Enforcer, I will not lay a finger on that pretty little head of hers. She is _yours_. "

Both Piltovians froze slightly, not saying a word. With a quick nod in lieu of a thanks, she scooped the Sheriff up to her feet before exiting the room. Caitlyn paused and turned to face her, giving an uncertain smile. A dangerous grin widdened when she caught on to the Rifle's doubt.

Elise smirked and sent her out with a wave.

It was not long before the silence in the room turned into low hushed murmurs.

Grin faded back into a neutral expression as the Spider Lady silently moved to a locker and leaned against it, waiting for the room to empty out. A tap on her shoulder turned her attention from the door, crimson eyes staring into Evelynn's topaz orbs. She quirked an eyebrow at the snickering succubus. Finally, after seconds of smiling, she spoke :

" Since when do you get involved other champion's buisiness ? "

" Out of my sight Eve. " she snarled her spider legs taking a swipe at an already empty spot. A silent laugh tickled her ears, the Widowmaker already long gone.

The room finally turned silent with her disapearance and Elise was once again left alone with her thoughts.

A sigh left her lips as she allowed herself to slump lightly against the lockers. Why HAD she stepped in ? It wasn't like she cared for any of the two champions, or what would have happened to them.

There was no need to look too far ; the answer was obvious.

She was turning soft.

Being around champions and summoners that thought-out nothing else but justice and kindness must haved washed over her.

 _Sickening_.

Kindness and trust were a dangerous venom that could kill even her. She had to be more careful.

Impassive once more, she pushed against the lockers and walked for the exit when she felt eyes on her. Knowing when her every move was being observed was a skill that she had honed over the years, one that was however useless as she was _ALWAYS_ being watched. Stopping in her tracks, she suddenly spun on her heels, shooting a webbing out to splatter against the wall next to her secret admirer.

" Are you going to stare at me for long ? You are baring holes in my back. " she groaned menacingly, all sympathy she had displayed earlier, gone.

Eyes widenned in shock, Nami then settled for an akward laugh, her hands fidgetting together.

" Sorry ", she called out.

Nothing was said as crimson eyes peered to her fellow champion. _Tidecaller_. The title came back to her and Elise realised that that was the only information she had on the Marai.

Knowledge came easily to her, roaming spiderlings always came back to whisper small snipets of information to her ears. The Institute was like a giant web and she was the spider that had comfortably nested in it. Nothing was unknowned to her. And yet … she ignored everything on this particuliar creature. An absence of information was a blind spot.

Relitavely shorter than her, Elise discovered the Marai up close for the first time. She remarked the hair, tail, scales, small marks that were usually hidden by her headcrown. Everything about her was alien, very different from either humans or spiders.

" Ummm ."

Elise blinked quickly realising that she was doing what she had scolded the other for.

" I apologise … I have never come accross … A creature such as yourself. I must say that I am quite fascinated. "

" Thank you, I guess, " squirmed the Marai, shy grin growing.

An akward silence ensured. She was not the ideal person to hold a conversation with at the best of times, but the Spider Queen found that if she was talking to anyone under the age of 25, her mind would go blank. She didn't even bother with putting up her seductive font. Fingers drummed slightly against the instrument, their owner wondering how to survive many akward pauses, let alone how to entertain the person she was talking to. Nami had to be younger than the average champion that revolved around the thirties. Such a young child, yet so far from home, she mused.

" Tidecaller. " she finally settled for.

" Yes ? "

" I see that you are not in your alternate outfit. Do you require assistance ? " she asked before she could stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. Pausing, she restrained a facepalm. This was the so called weakness she didn't need.

Red eyes widened as she bit her lip, glancing behind her. So the Spider Queen had seen right. Looking back at her, the aquatic champion seem to be hesitating.

" I don't mind. " she said, responding to her incertainty. Maybe this was her chance to discover a bit more about the Champion.

" Are you sure ? It's kind of embarassing. "

" I wouldn't have offered if I would have minded. " the lie comming out as casually as it could.

Nami must have decided that Elise had a point, as she went back towards her headset. A small bag was propped on the bench, one the Spider Queen had failed to notice. Sliding the zipper down, she rummaged through her belongings, _ah ha-ing_ in victory when she found what she was looking for. Grabbing it, she flung it out for Elise to see.

" You see, by popular request, my new Urf- the Nami-Tee skin has been requested. "

" Yes. And ? " she urged the mermaid on, trying not to roll her eyes. She remembered the skin as being the new addition to the Marai's closet.

" And well … I have a really hard time to put it on. Last time, it took me about half an hour before Soraka finaly came to assist me. " she explained shyly.

" You … Have difficiulties putting on a sweater." Elise deadpanned. Whatever she was expecting from the warrior, that had not been it.

That's what had been bothering the Marai?

" Yeah … Not very glorious of the Tidecaller… "

" I'd say. " she mumbled honestly for the first time.

" Well … We don't really have these from where I come. I mean. Why would we need them ? They would just get soaked anyway. They are sort of useless. "

" I suppose so. " she shrugged and moved closer to the mermaid. The taller woman then stood there, her spider legs twitching impatiently. " Now what will you have me do, Tidecaller. "

" Well," she started hesitantly "Soraka braided my hair so that it would actually fit into the hood. "

A frown turned her face downards when Elise caught onto what Nami was asking of her. In a very roundabout way.

" You want me to braid your hair. "

" If you wouldn't mind. "

A pause.

" Do I look like the sort of person that even does those sort of things ? "

" Not really. " she admitted, bringing along a scowl. « But I was thinking that since you made beautiful webbings, you would know how to do at least this. »

Another pause. Nami considered taking back her request for help when the Spider Queen grabbed her by the shoulders, gently spinning her, so that she was back to her. Flattery was not completely lost on the Shadow Isles champion.

" I make no promises. " and so she set out to work on the Marai's hair. It was one of the strangest and suprisingly softest textures she had ever come accross. The mermaid's strands just seemed to flow through her fingers like water would. Very soothing but incredibly impractical, as the Spider Lady struggled to make something that was decent looking.

Looks were everything as they played a very important part in getting what you wanted. Seduction and a sloppy appearance simply did not do. A few times she felt Nami stiffen and Elise realised it was probably due to her clawed fingers getting tangled in small knots. After deliberation, and a quick incantation, she ridded herself of her forearm armor and continued to work in silence.

At some point, she noticed that her feet were getting soaked from the small puddle that had formed at their feet, probably from the Marai's iddling around. _Patience, is apparently a virtue_ , she breathed in slowly.

Definitly not wanting the small creature to get more fidgety than she was at the moment, not a word was said.

After what seemed like hours, webbing tangled itself in smooth hair, closing the braid off. A head tilted to the side as the make-for hairdresser contemplated her work. Granted it was not the most elegant and the center was off and the braid was leaning slightly to the left. It was the best she could do, however, so she announced:

" I think I am done. "

Out of reflex, blue skinned hands reached up behind her, gently patting the braid. Changing angles, her hands then stopped when they came to the webbing.

" It tears off. " she stated before the Tidecaller could ask.

Slowly her hands dropped, and Nami turned around, beaming.

" Thank you ! I'm just sad that I can't see the work you did. "

" I apologise for it not being remotly close to good. "

" Psht psht, I bet it looks great. Thanks Elise ! "

There was another break, Elise narrowing her eyes.

She hadn't expected the Marai to be quite so friendly. Word was that the Spider Queen was rather intimidating, which suited her perfectly. A part of her was rather disapointed that the Marai didn't seem affected by that. There was always a thrill in observing people tremble under her scrutinity.

Crawling under a friendly person's skin was however much easier, so not much complaining there.

Catching her reaction, Nami realised her mistakes, and a hand rose to cover her mouth.

" Oh … I am sorry, I didn't mean to sound overly friendly … "

" No, you are quite alright. I was just surprised."

" Then … Call me Nami ? " she offered " It would only be fair. "

" Alright then… Nami, " she whispered, her smile turning playful as she took the delicate plat between her hands..

" Ok, then. " came another excited laugh, that was still sort of desperate in trying to to turn the attention away from her. « Next, sweater. »

With that said, she moved away from the still smirking Elise, before she waved the article of clothing so that the Spider could get a better view of it.

It seemed that said outfit consisted of a bottom piece that covered the tail and fins, the top piece hiding the mermaid's marking.

Just as had been said, the hood would have been too small to fit her mane in without the braid. The easiest thing would probably be the arm pieces, and then again, they had to get the fins in the small pockets for it to look right.

Elise groaned. What on Runeterra had prompted her to even lend a hand with stuffing a Fish into human cloathing surpassed her.

Thank forbid the whole outfit worked with zippers, and the mermaid wouldn't actually have to remove anything except for her crown.

Nodding to the bench, Elise oredered the Marai to sit.

Nami did as she was told, opening the zippers to the lower part of her outfit, then wrapping it akwardly around her tail. Both looked at it and both thought that it looked incredibly wrong. The Spider sighed and gently scooted closer, trying to reajust the garnement.

With difficulty. Alot of difficulty. When she tried to tighten the tail piece too fast, Nami yelped, her tail twitching, slapping Elise accross the face leaving a wet trail. Both parties froze. The mermaid was horrified. The Spider, using all her best will to not cook the Fish for her next meal..

The atmosphere grew even tenser until the zipper finally went all the way up, clawed hands buttoning it shut. For the first time, the Spider Queen grinned devilishly.

Her partner nodded her approval, eyes twinkling, before she started to work on slidding into the top. Red eyes rolled when she got half stuck.

Grabbing blue arms, Elise snaked them all the way through the piece of cloathing, guiding the Marai. The duo then moved on to putting the waist piece, struggling to get rebellious fins into the ready made pockets.

Ten minutes later, they encountered the same problem when they moved onto the sleeves.

Nami struggled, stuffing her hand in it at an akward angle, then trying to force the fingers all the way through. She stopped when she heard the material crack and looked at Elise.

The latter just shook her head and took the piece off, showing her how to slide it on more easily, putting it around her own arm. Granted, they looked ridiculous on her. So she let it slide when the mermaid burst into fits of laughter. She even allowed herself the luxury to chuckle. The second one went on much smoother, and all that needed to be added was the hood.

Elise grabbed it from the bag and stared.

It looked silly. Silly didn't even begin to describe it. Never woud she be caught wearing that. She had her limits. Carefully, she fit it onto the Marai's head, helping her tuck in the hair and braid.

And before long, they were done. Tail eagerly swished her in front of a mirror as Nami spun around, grinning at her image. Elise had to admit with alot of reluctance that the creature looked cute. In a ridiculous way.

Turning to the spider, she beamed :

" How do I look ? "

" Not bad, I guess. " she chortled.

Nami giggled and scooted closer to Elise, her head bowing slightly.

" Elise ? "

" Yes? "

" I'm sorry about slapping you accross the face with my tail. "

Another pause.

" It's… Okay. " she managed to say eventually, not choking too much on how painful those words were to her.

Quietly, she glanced at the time and grimaced at how late it had got. They would have to go soon if they didn't want to be tardy. Nami noticed this too, announcing that it was time to head to the Rift. Elise agreed, gripping her instrument. Before she could take another step, the Marai called her, taking clawed hands into hers.

" Thank you. You really saved me there. "

" It's nothing. " she responded, smirking.

She was about to pull away but the mermaid held on. The Shadow Isles champion looked at her, raising an eyebrow, resisting the urge to yank her hand away. The smaller woman merely closed her eyes.

A shiver ran through her spine feeling her clawed hand go cold.. When Nami pulled back, a small bubble floated about in her palm. It was a beautiful color of blue, one that Elise had never seen before, one that could only be found in the deepest of oceans. Crimson eyes studied it curiously, clawed nails hesitantly giving it a small poke. The bubble swayed but did not tear.

" It will not pop. " explained Nami. " I have nothing to give you by way of a thanks, so I'll just leave you with this. "

" Thank you, " and for the first time, an earnest smile illuminated a pale face.

Nami flashed a smile of her own before grabbing all her belongings, swishing to the door. When she reached it, she turned around, giving one last smile :

" And I thought you were really cool earlier on. " and with that she left the Spider alone.

Or nearly alone. Elise hissed, spitting venom at the invisible figure behind her. Evelynn appeared, snickering.

" You know, you're not as bad as people would think."

* * *

A.N: Thank you so much for reading this random story I came up with!

Although Elise seems to be a cruel and distant Sorceress -which she probably is- I imagine her to have a kinder side also. Plus Nami is too adorable to resist.

As for Fiora and Cait, I have a headcanon that they are rivals, mostly due to their difference in character but more importantly because of their accent. Something a bit silly for sure, but very fun to write out. I also took advantage of my French to add some twist to the _Grand Duelist_ 's speech.


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